All of everything, erased

i thought i understood it, that i could grasp it,
but i didn’t, not really.
only the smudgeness of it;
the pink-slippered, all-containered, semi-precious eagerness of it.
i didn’t realize it would sometimes be more than whole,
that the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea.
because it’s the halves that halve you in half.
i didn’t know, don’t know, about the in-between bits;
the gory bits of you, and the gory bits of me.